Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i think we sleep fucked last night...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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