have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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