do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
