This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Randomize
