I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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