dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
