I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
