i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
