We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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