Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
