he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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