so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize