Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
