weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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