You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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