why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
