You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
