Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
