No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
