i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
