I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
