So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
