Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
