So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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