I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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