i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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