walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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