Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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