good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
