so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
