Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
