He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
