its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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