dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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