That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
