Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
