She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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