I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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