you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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