Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
