He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Are we still banned from the library?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
