Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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