Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
