Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
