After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
