why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize