i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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