Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
