I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize