Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
