I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dicks are not precious.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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