Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
