sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
