He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize