final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
