The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
