so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
