We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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